Let's Talk About It

As a child, did you hear those words? If you did, that is great. If you did not, you may find yourself like many, whose parents did not want an opinion on the subject matter, or they just ignored the issue for whatever reason. Many times, we are not encouraged to talk about our feelings or talk about how circumstances affect us. We are more encouraged to just deal with it which means, bury those feelings and keep moving. There are some circumstances in which that might be appropriate, and there may be other circumstances in which it is not appropriate. If burying feelings is done often as a young person, it will then become a habit as we grow older and can be very difficult to break without much work. One of the easiest, most difficult things we will all face in life is communication. Communication is necessary in all aspects of our lives; however, it can be one of the most difficult things for us to do. The expression of feelings can be hindered by fear, by inexperience, by ego, by stubbornness, by our attitude in the moment, and also because we may have shut down. I honestly feel like our school system should really work on teaching our children how to communicate verbally. There may be work done on written communication, but the majority of our communication as adults occurs verbally.

A challenge for many of us is to become comfortable with communication and the expression of how we feel. In order for us to do so, we must overcome our fears and bad habits of holding our most true selves in, and work on self-expression. You have to know that it is okay to express yourself, and that many of the fears you had were unfounded. In a healthy relationship, your partner should allow you to express your feelings, they may not agree with everything that you say, but they should at least hear you.

If you are a burier of feelings, then I encourage you to look into the reasons why you bury them? Do a complete assessment on yourself, and ask yourself some questions like: why am I doing this?; Do I feel like I am not worthy to have my opinion heard? What will happen if I express my true feelings? Am I fearful? Is it a habit? What do I need to do to break it?

The more you work on your communication, the easier you will find that it is to do. If you need to take baby steps, do so, but celebrate your wins and your progress.